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Season Three Teaser
With early morning sunbeams crawling across
her face, Gracie wrinkles her nose in protest as she stirs in a bed.
The clock radio clicks on 7:00 am.
WAKE UP, SANTA CONCHITANS - I'M JESSIE BESSIE IN THE
MORNING AND YOU'RE LISTENING TO FEVER 101.7 KFVR - SO, DIDJA FEEL IT
LAST NIGHT? - I SURE DID, MY DOGS DID, MY DISHES DID - A NICE LITTLE
5.2 EARTHQUAKE CENTERED RIGHT HERE, THREE MILES WEST OF THE KIYOMIS
- THAT WILL GET YA GOIN' - AND HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE TO GET YOU GOIN',
THE LATEST FROM MARC ANTHONY
Gracie: (Struggling to wake up) Uh, noooo, please
- it's too early for this torture... it must be Armageddon
She suddenly starts up.
Gracie: (Eyes wide) Wait a minute, I NEVER listen
to this station!
As she goes to check the radio, her hand
lands on a blue and gold bong.
Gracie: (Rubbing her face) Huh? - this isn't mine,
I hate these colors, they're boring colors, where am I?
She stumbles out of the bed and scans around
the room.
Gracie: I'm in a land of hideous green shag carpeting,
that's where I am
Takanachi scares herself as she passes by
a floor mirror.
Gracie: EEP, why am I naked?
The sound of snoring emanates from under
the down comforter.
Gracie: (Shaking her hands in frustration and
smacking herself on the thigh) Aww, not again - score another for the
tequila whore with no memory - where are my clothes?
She finds them strewn about the floor, along
with pillows and a knocked over chair.
Gracie: (Trying to stay calm) This isn't Hal's
place...
Glancing at several athletic trophies and
model airplanes that decorate the room, Gracie tries to focus her eyes.
Gracie: And it sure as hell ain't Zach's
The sound of a ringing phone sends Gracie
scurrying behind a dresser.
Gates: (Over the answering machine) CLARK, THIS IS TURNER
GATES, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW - WE HAVE SO MUCH SHIT GOING ON, WE
NEED YOU TO COVER THE COAST GUARD COPTER CRASH - MOVE IT
Jason: (Grumbling) What time is it?
Gracie: CLARK? - JASON CLARK?
Jason: (Sitting up) Hey, Gracie - you wanna ride
in together?
Gracie: (Letting out a scream) NOOOOOOO
Jason: (Frightened) FINE, WE'LL GO IN OUR OWN
CARS
Gracie: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
Jason: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - I LIVE HERE
Gracie: THEN WHAT AM I DOING HERE? - THIS HAS
GOT TO BE A BAD DREAM, A BAD DREAM...
She starts to jump up and down, bouncing
around the room.
Gracie: WAKE UP, GRACIE, WAKE UP
She slips on a used condom on the floor
and goes tumbling down.
Jason: (Jumping over to her) ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
The sight of a naked Jason standing right
in front of her causes Gracie to shriek and hide her eyes.
Gracie: PUT SOME SHORTS ON, PUT SOME SHORTS ON
Jason: (Hunting around for some) OK, OK
Gracie: (Peeking out between her fingers and impressed
with the view) On second thought, nevermind, just help me up, please!
Jason does and the two of them regard each
other for a moment. Both are bewildered, nude and silent.
Gracie: (Finally breaking it) DON'T LOOK AT MY
TITS
Jason: (Quickly turning away) I wasn't looking
at them... I was ADMIRING them
Gracie: (Wrapping a sheet around her) Shut up,
you sound like Zach
Jason: (Miffed) I am NOTHING like Isaacson
Gracie: (Glancing at his manhood and smirking)
Thank God
A coy Jason snatches a basketball off of
the floor and covers himself.
Gracie: Is this a set up for "Hey, look how
I can spin this with one finger?"
The joke cuts the tension and causes both
of them to chuckle.
Jason: (Softly approaching her) You were so good
last night
Gracie: (Allowing him to do so) Ah... really?
Jason: (Dropping the ball) Mm-hmm
Gracie: Wow
Jason: (Trying to pull her back into bed) I can't
get enough of you, Grace
Gracie: (Pulling away from him) I need to call
Zach
Jason: WHY?
Gracie: I... I don't know - I think I was supposed
to meet him for something
Jason: (Kicking the ball in frustration) When
are you going to wake up and realize he's not interested in you beyond
friendship?
Gracie: (Absently looking out the window) No,
I'm not talking about that - I mean I was supposed to meet him about
something important... it's all so hazy
Jason's laptop is on with a news bulletin
popping up on the screen. It reads, "MANHUNT FOR LOCAL MURDER SUSPECT
CONTINUES." Neither one of them notices it.
Gracie: I'm sorry, Jason
Jason: What's wrong?
Gracie: I can't... I CANNOT REMEMBER ANY OF THIS
Jason: Excuse me?
Gracie: I don't - I just... I don't know
Jason: (Scoffing) How many other one-night stands
don't you remember?
Gracie: What are you implying?
Jason: Nothing... does "GT" stand for
"Gracie Takanachi" or "Good Time?"
Gracie: FUCK YOU
Jason: That's right, you sure did...
He gathers the used condoms off of the floor.
Jason: (Waving them at her) THRICE
Gracie: (On the verge of tears) Where were we
last night?
Jason: (Pointing to various locations in the room)
RIGHT HERE... and here... ooh, and over there...
Gracie: I mean, BEFORE HERE?
Jason: (Shocked) YOU ARE SERIOUS, YOU DON'T REMEMBER
Gracie: I DON'T, I REALLY DON'T, PLEASE TELL ME
Jason: (Shaking his head and sighing) We were
at KCON, remember?
Gracie: (Thinking) NO, wait... kind of - why were
we hiding behind Ortega's dolls? - was there someone in a hood?
Jason: WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE GNOMES,
ALREADY?
Gracie: (Stunned) Gnomes?
Jason: We were at the station cutting a promo
package together
Gracie: (Rubbing her head) A promo package?
Jason: (Crossing his arms) YEAH, a promo package
- geez, Gracie, I know we had fun with the Cuervo and the ganja last
night but what else did you take?
Gracie: I DIDN'T TAKE ANYTHING HARD - I haven't
been into those reindeer games since college - something else is going
on here!
Jason: LOOK - after we edited the package, it
was your suggestion to go to Muldoon's for a few drinks - WE DID
He now starts to pace.
Jason: Then, you got the urge to rearrange garden
gnomes in random front yards - against my protestations, WE DID
Gracie: What?
Jason: Next, it was your plan to go dancing at
Techtonic's "Crazy 80's Night" - WE DID
Gracie desperately searches her brain for
the faintest memory.
Jason: And after we groped each other in the bathroom
next to a couple you lovingly referred to as "Freckle Face Walrus
Man and Blowjobba the Huss," it was your offer to take it on back
to my place - WE DID... THRICE
Gracie: WOULDJA STOP SAYING THAT WORD? - NO ONE
SAYS THAT WORD
Jason: I SAY IT
Gracie: Your brothahs in da hood wouldn't like
it
Jason: I was never in DA hood but I was most certainly
in YOUR hood... last night... THRICE
Gracie: (Throwing herself on his bed and hiding
her face) AAARRRGGGHHH
Jason: (Taking a seat at the edge of the bed)
Before you go blaming what happened on being drunk or me trying to date
rape you, Ms. Videographer, I suggest you take a look at this...
Jason picks up a remote off of the floor
and presses a few buttons. The TV in the room comes on.
Jason: It was also your idea to tape it - WE DID
Gracie is astonished by what she sees on
the monitor. It is indeed the two of them laughing and rolling around
on the bed, still partially clothed. Gracie is the one taking the initiative
in removing Jason's pants.
Gracie: (Clicking the remote) THIS DOES NOT MAKE
ANY SENSE
She shuts off the video feed only and the
television switches back to a regular channel mode. On screen is KCON's
Kylee Shepperton doing her morning news stand-up.
Gracie: GREAT, I'm already freaked enough this
early, I don't need to be seeing that bitch's face!
Jason: Wait, turn it up, what is she saying?
Kylee: Yes, Claudia, it really is quite
shocking - we'll, of course, have much more later on the death of one
of Duquesa Bay's most prominent citizens...
Gracie: WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?
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